Should You Go to Counseling?
There’s a good chance that if you’re reading this right now, you’re wondering if you need counseling. If that’s the case, it’s also likely that you are experiencing pain or discomfort. Perhaps you’ve been feeling more anxious than usual, or had a harder time getting out of bed. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or stuck. Maybe a significant event has just occurred in your life and left you reeling- a death, a divorce or break-up, a move, a traumatic experience. Or maybe there hasn’t been any major event at all, and you can’t pinpoint anything in particular that’s wrong, but things still aren’t quite right.
Any of these scenarios, and countless others, can be a starting point for wondering if counseling is right for you. As you think about whether you’d like to reach out to a counselor, here’s some information that may be helpful.
Let’s start with what exactly people mean when they talk about counseling. What is counseling? Counseling, often used interchangeably with therapy, is a process that involves talking with a licensed professional about yourself. Your counselor (often interchangeably called a therapist) is trained to hold a safe, non-judgemental, compassionate space for you. They may use specific counseling techniques, provide information, and ask questions that support a purposeful, intentional conversation between you. Your counselor will work with you to achieve your goals for counseling, or help you figure out what you would like to get out of your time together. This may be very specific such as “I want to feel less anxious when I have to give a presentation” or it may be much broader such as “I want to understand myself better.” No matter your goals, your counselor will use their experience and expertise to support you in working towards them.
What about what counseling isn’t? Sometimes people go to counseling expecting that their counselor will tell them what to do. And while counselors often offer suggestions and information, they aren’t in the business of giving advice or telling you what to do. This can be really frustrating, especially if you are in pain or suffering. Isn’t the point of counseling to feel better? While for many counseling does ultimately make them feel better, that change comes from uncovering the deeper causes or roots of what has brought you to counseling, increasing your understanding of yourself, learning new skills or perspectives, and affirming and validating your own lived experience. Although it may take longer to feel better, the changes you make in counseling will last longer than the changes made by following someone’s advice. This is because the changes come from within you. It might take longer, but it will also last longer!
When talking about types of counseling, lots of acronyms get thrown around- CBT, DBT, EFT, IFS, MI, ACT, MBCT, and many others. Most counselors will use several different counseling theories, known as an integrative approach. This allows the counselor to better tailor your counseling to you and your needs. Counselors use different theories and techniques, and what works for one person might not work for another. Or what works for you right now might not work for you later, and vice versa. All of that is o.kay! What’s most important is finding a counselor who you “click” with. Research shows that the most important factor in whether or not counseling is effective is the counseling relationship. A counselor may be the foremost expert in a particular therapeutic technique, but if you don’t feel like that counselor gets you, it’s unlikely the work you do together will be effective. When you meet with potential counselors, focus on how you feel in the room with them. When you find someone who you “click” with, that’s likely the right fit, regardless of the specific therapeutic theories they utilize.
Who goes to counseling? Do you have to have a mental health condition like depression or anxiety to go? Absolutely not! While counseling can be extremely effective in treating disorders such as depression, anxiety, and others, you don’t need to have a diagnosable mental health condition for counseling to be helpful. Processing a life transition is a wonderful example of how counseling can be helpful even if you don’t have a mental health condition. If you’re concerned that you do have a mental health condition, working with a counselor can be a great start on the path towards healing. Counselors are trained to assess for mental health disorders, and can help you figure out if a diagnosis is appropriate and where to go from there.
Will you have to go to counseling forever? Certainly not- you can always elect to terminate counseling at any time, for any reason. It’s helpful to share with your counselor when you’re thinking about ending. Bringing counseling to a close is an important part of the overall process. Once you start counseling, it does not need to be a lifelong endeavor. For many people, they will come and go from counseling as their needs, circumstances, or wants change. Healing, growth, and change happen at different rates for everyone. It’s o.kay to see a counselor for a few sessions or a few years- it’s up to you and what you want and need.
I hope this information has been helpful as you think about whether counseling is right for you. Sometimes acknowledging what you need, and reaching out for help, can be really hard. In taking the first step of considering whether counseling might be beneficial to you, you have already made a brave start.
If you’re interested in counseling, and would like to see if working with me would be a good fit, I encourage you to give me a call. You are not alone, there is hope- reaching out can be the start towards better mental health and healing.
